#but there’s something so uniquely horrible about being in pain that you have no idea what it is or why it’s here or when it will come next

[curly-cottage-girl]

Thank you for the advice! <3 It’s nice to hear from someone else who has gone through it (even if in my case I don’t believe it to be anxiety. I sat through two IOP groups for anxiety and am still waking up with chest pain). I am getting a barium swallow tomorrow to check GI but it’s been really frustrating all along. I really appreciate you answering me. It feels very isolating and alienating dealing with chest pain for so long and not knowing what to do about it. I’m so glad that you are in a better place now! Really happy for you! I hope someday I can live without chest pain again too

Thank you anon! I’m glad you are continuing to seek treatment and answers. You deserve to feel better.

(Actually now that you mention it, there was a specific stressful point in my life several years ago where I would have the sharpest chest pain in between sleeping and waking up. It would lessen somewhat when I was fully awake, but I remember it being there right as I was starting to gain consciousness. Idk man, the mind/body connection is weird, and it took a long time for me to even start to tackle it. But I hope that you can find and heal whatever is causing yours! Just remember that you are definitely not alone with this <3)

[foldingfittedsheets]

A basic human skill that people usually lock down around the age of three or four is impulse control. To conceptualize an action and it’s consequences before taking it. Maybe considering how that action affects other people. We then refine it through most of our childhood.

When I was a teenager my hold on this ability became… tenuous. I became a volatile and dangerous creature.

It’s probably not unique to me, but I had a perfect storm in terms of mental upsets. I had just mastered enough basic social skills, so I finally had a strong group of friends when my dad suddenly needed to move for work. Ripped away from my support network, blooming with hormones, I was dragged to Arizona. I was always a child of forests and mist and suddenly everything was hot, dry, and extremely pointy and aggressive.

Additionally to being abruptly transplanted I found myself an object of affection in a way I’d never been before. Lonely and desperate to make friends the only people who wanted to spend time with me had romantic designs. I just wanted to figure out my shit but I had a baby lesbian flirting with increasing aggression in art, a soft boy making heart eyes at me in biology, a senior nerd asking if I wanted to play Halo at his house and could he hold my hand?

Reader, I snapped. I didn’t want this romantic attention but I also didn’t want to be alone. My brain coped the only way it knew how, by simply cutting out decision making. Any action was the right action to take.

It started with the boy in biology. I’d stolen his pencil out of mischief and to my overwhelming fury instead of trying to steal it back he just softened his eyes and chucked me gently under my chin, a gesture so overtly sweet and romantic that I saw red.

I stabbed him with his own pencil.

I honestly and truly have no memory of it. It happened as fast as a snake striking and I was instantly filled with terrified remorse. Unfortunately that manifested as psychotic giggling.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I don’t know why- I’m so sorry!” I said, while hysterically laughing. I ended up having lodged some graphite in his palm and had to tweeze it out with my nails while apologizing furiously. (It’s very important to note here that he forgave me and we’re still friends)

That was weird, I thought. Why didn’t I think before I stabbed someone?

The next event was equally catastrophic, and I had even less reason to do it. In gym with two girls I was tentatively befriending, we were warming up running laps. I started racing one of them. At breakneck speed we were sprinting around the gym.

This time, there was a blip of thought before I fucked up. I should get the other girl! I have no idea why or what the plan was but I turned on a swivel and body checked the other girl. We both fell down in immense pain. I think that’s the moment I broke my tailbone. Her knees were horribly bruised and she looked at me in bewildered pain. “Why did you do that?!”

I had no idea. I apologized and helped her up, both of us hobbling like newborn horses, bruised and hurting.

By this time there’d been enough social upheavals that I was reduced to spending time with some girls I had nothing in common with and low key disliked. Sat at a table listening to this girl talk about how she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up I thought, You’d better put the cap on before you throw it.

I then chucked my empty water bottle directly at her face. It bounced off her forehead with a bop! that would have made a sound mixer weep at its perfection.

All eyes turned to me is startlement. I stared back at her, stunned by my own action, just as confused as everyone else at the table as to why I’d done that. One of the girls to my right said, “Were you trying to hit that fly?”

“Yes!” I lied, “I’m sorry, I thought I could hit the fly!”

Everyone laughed at my antics and I joined in rather than admit I had just chucked something at her for no reason.

Things did start to improve after that. I solidified a friendship with the girl I’d raced (who I developed a massive crush on and ten years later would go on to date). My outbursts turned more whimsical rather than aggressive. Like accosting a girl leaving the cafeteria to look deeply into her eyes and say with great compassion, “It’s going to be alright.”

My new friend and I snuck into the van that delivered our cafeterias baked goods and lay giggling in the back. When I’d impulsively hopped in she’d joined me and made it a game.

After a year in Arizona I broke down crying to my mother, an act of great desperation, and we ended up moving back home. My impulse control returned to normal teenage levels and life resumed in a happier state of mind.

[strang3lov3]

Hi, @pyros-hollow. Let's clear the air.

On May 5th, you sent me these anon messages: 

This is how I responded to you: 

The next day, you messaged me privately to apologize for making me uncomfortable. I thanked you for your apology, and reiterated that I did not mind if you wanted to write the same trope as me, but that I would like my versions of these works to remain mine. I expressed that I would have preferred if you had talked to me first. 

I read your fic, I mentioned that I noticed a lot of similarities to my own writing, but that plagiarism can be tricky when you’re admittedly very inspired by another writer. I told you that this is where communication plays a huge role in avoiding these uncomfortable situations. Finally, I told you that I would like it if you unlinked your story from mine on ao3, and that you and I could work together to fix the parts that feel too close for comfort. 

Initially I told you I would highlight portions I felt could be fixed. Upon rereading your story, I told you that it was not just specific lines, but it was the overall tone, structure, and premise that, in my opinion, strongly mirrored my writing. I told you I recognize that interpretation is subjective, but with all of this combined - emotional inflection, the way scenes are framed, sometimes dialogue and even the narrative voice that the story was written in - to me, closely echoed what I wrote. I told you it felt like a paraphrasing rewrite of my writing with slight changes. 

I reiterated again that I do not own these tropes or general ideas, but the way they are expressed is something that is unique to every writer. I told you that my intention with this conversation was not to discourage you from writing, but to help you see the line between being inspired by work and unintentionally recreating it. I asked that instead of changing things line by line, to consider how you would write that story in the case that you had not read my work. 

You bucked me every step of the way. You were not receptive to any of my advice, and you came up with multiple excuses to sidestep taking responsibility for your mistake. So finally, I told you that I was uncomfortable with this conversation, so I would be removing myself from the situation. I wished you the best with your writing going forward. Then, I blocked you. I did not talk about this on tumblr beyond answering your anon above.

You messaged me on Discord afterward, telling me that you felt horrible about making me uncomfortable. I did not respond to you. 

Three days after this interaction, you posted this: 

You responded to anons mostly in favor of me, but some in favor of you, too. You also posted screenshots of our private conversation, which is against Tumblr’s terms of service. 

You also admitted to making these harassing posts out of  “petty revenge”. 

At this point, my friend messaged you in good faith and advised that you take down these posts tagged with #drama and other things like that, understanding that this was a painful situation for us both, but that your choice to post these things was harmful for all parties involved. You were receptive to her, and took down these posts. 

But by the end of May, you were sending anons about me to the confessions blog. The specific use of the word “greedy” gave you away. You used that word multiple times when you posted about me on your own blog. 

These last two “confessions” were posted within the last couple days.

You were careless enough to like some of the posts on the confessions blog (these ones or other ones I can’t remember) which is why you were blocked by my friend who messaged you to take down those posts, as well as some other people. We’re not a clique, btw. Besides that one friend who messaged you, nobody knew what happened between you and I. 

So, to sum it all up - you have: 

Intentionally or not, plagiarized my fic. I attempted to deal with this privately, but…

YOU took things public, posting about me in an attempt to validate yourself or send hate to me. You posted screenshots of our private conversation - again, something that goes against Tumblr’s terms of service.

You have publicly interacted with the confessions blog, which more writers beyond just me block - something they are well within their right to do.

You’ve also written incest, lol. No judgment here, obviously. I do think it’s interesting you want sympathy from the kink-shaming confessions blog to validate yourself. They think you’re just as disgusting as I am.

And publicly admitted to using AI to write your fics 👇

And you’re bent out of shape that people are blocking you. That is a result of your own behavior.

I did not want to make this a public thing. I let it go until now, because you can’t. But since you want to make this public, let’s make this public. Let everyone see the role you played in this situation. I was patient with you. I was generous. I was kind. You made me uncomfortable, and I tapped out of the situation - this is how you chose to retaliate.

For someone who claimed to love me and respect me so much, this sure doesn’t feel like it. And I get that you’re my number one hater now - cute, btw. I’m glad you’re so proud of that. But I don’t think you ever respected me to begin with. Your behavior is appalling.

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Sorry this request might be a little weird; Im gonna try and word it best I can. Can you do something with Alastor and the reader, who very slowly and maybe unintentionally became friends; where Alastor confesses his feelings and how much he cares for the reader... But the reader doesnt take him seriously? The reader basically doesnt think he is actually interested in dating them. The reader thinks its a joke, he is just trying to use them, or otherwise just trying to get something out of them. Not in like a distrustful way either. The reader has the attitude of 'oh yeah. The great radio demon who has girls falling at his feet and can get ANYONE he wants is interested in me? Right, good one.' Like its a self-esteem/self-worth thing stopping them from believing him. Oh and this is for Hazbin Hotel obviously, but just in case I had to say it.

Please Please Please~

(This honestly was me projecting because this is me anytime someone shows interest in me. I have horrible self-esteem issues lol)

When you woke in hell, you thought nothing of it, really. You did some good, and you sure did some bad, so maybe this was exactly where you were always supposed to be. You had no anger or frustration about your placement because you simply couldn’t care enough. Heaven or hell, you probably would still be fighting for something. If anything, you hoped you would just fall asleep in death, but where would the fun in that be?

Upon your arrival, a few things became quite clear: 1. It was a dog-eat-dog world here in hell, so be prepared for anything. 2. The more souls you own, the more powerful you are, so start making some friends to make just as many enemies. 3. You will always be less powerful and popular than the TV head and the Radio Demon.

The only downside is you never got to meet this Radio Demon. He had been missing for seven years, according to the streets, and long gone, but still, he was the talk of countless women and men, especially Vox. This wasn’t a surprise, though; how people explained his rise to power was even more impressive and unique to you. He would one day be a formidable foe if you crossed him, or would he? The last extermination was killer. Half your souls had been killed off, and you were left a lot weaker from an injury caused by angelic steel. A slash was going straight across your back from a poorly-timed dodge. You weren’t bad at fighting; you weren't good at it either. Usually, during exterminations, you would hide at the Vee’s tower or another notable place. However, unsurprisingly, you were kicked out after your loud denial of working with the Vees. 

Seeking refuge at the next best place, you stumbled upon the Hazbin Hotel. Delirious and in pain, it was indeed just a stumble into the lobby. Upon entering, you saw an excited and concerned blonde chick, someone with a spear, and then all that was left was just red—beautiful crimson red. 

Some days had to have passed; you only know this because your wounds were wrapped up, and the calendar in the room you were placed in had days since the extermination marked off. Five days you spent asleep resting and recouping. Though your body was mainly healed, the scar you saw on your back when you stood was anything but attractive. Sighing, you sat on the cold bathroom floor.

You were never much of a beauty in your mind. You were just simply good enough. Sometimes, you could seduce a soul into your clutches, win a soul gambling, and sometimes gain one from fighting—a jack of all trades, master of none. Yet now, your value has significantly decreased with a giant scare running across the expanse of your back. Sighing, you stood once more and decided you would figure out where the hell you were and who was stupidly kind enough to help you.

With your top half fully bandaged, you didn’t think about putting on a shirt. The idea of anything rubbing on your wound annoyed you greatly. So, being mindful of potential others, you walked around carefully, ensuring your bandages were tight. Looking around, it was a reasonably average hotel. Nothing was too crazy about it; it just had some eerie decor at the most.

Rounding the last corner, you found stairs that opened up to the lobby, and dear lord, above did you wish you stayed in your room. A loud, cheerful presence came bombarding you, shouting a hundred questions about your health, your name, and what happened. You almost wanted to retreat into the shadows at how brightly she shone when you agreed to stay at her hotel and take a shot at redemption.

You met the residents quickly after that. It's not like you had much of a choice anyway. Surprisingly, the one you clicked with the most was the famed Alastor, the Radio Demon. How you two clicked was beyond everyone, besides the fact you were cunning and a silver tongue speaker like the man himself. Maybe that is why he found you amusing and watched you work your magic on lulling Husk even into a secure enough place to talk to you.

His lack of asking for your soul surprised you more than anything. Though you knew Charlie had her rules in the hotel, that didn’t dissuade the Deer from making his own choices. You commended him for his poise and regality; you understood why he was the talk of the town even when Vox was trying so hard to be the new it boy. Alastor was handsome in a nonconventional way; he was refined, elegant, and poised. He treated women like a gentlemen and men like they were just one step below him. 

You wouldn’t lie to yourself and say you weren't enamored; you liked him a lot from just the first handful of conversations. However, one late night really sealed the nail in your coffin of love for the affamed Overlord. You two were sitting on the lobby chair, the long-forgotten bar, and a nursed bottle of Whiskey between you two. Each new glass only brought you two closer, having a lot of similarities. 

You also killed upon your time on earth as a means to protect the ones you cared about and end those who acted foolishly like them. You also died an untimely death at the hands of something out of your control. You were both quick-witted and capable of compelling those around you with your voice and words. The only significant difference was he was an Overlord, a beautiful, attractive overlord. At the same time, you were just a sinner with a few damned souls that saw potential in you.

After that night, you and Alastor grew a lot closer. You would even dare to call him your best friend, knowing that nothing more would ever come of your two relationship past that. Not only was Alastor continuously turning women and men down left and right, but Angel was convinced the man didn’t know what romance or sex was. You couldn’t help but agree with him as every beautiful person who crossed his path was quickly shooed away or disposed of. 

As the Adam-led extermination approached, you noticed Alastor took a particular interest in your training. You were opting for him to train you and approve your placement on the battlefield. Your heart soared at his kindness, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up. He didn’t want to lose a like-minded friend, which was all this was. As you all prepared for the event, his sudden and lingering hug was just him being worried about a friend.

You would do and say anything to convince yourself he just saw you as a friend, even as he scolded you for your injuries after the battle. He just cared a lot about his best friend. You were nothing comparative in power and prestige as Alastor was, so he would never see you as more. This was all just a fond kindness he used with Niffty, Roise, and Mimzy. You wouldn’t allow yourself to be a fool and believe anything more would happen. 

As your affection grew for the Radio Demon, so did your self-doubt and negative self-esteem. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself like Mimzy, pining after a demon that would never love you. Your nights at the bar became more and more apparent enough that Husk took to talking to you and trying to help you out. This didn’t go unnoticed by the boss of said man. No, instead, jealousy was brewing inside of him, watching you grow closer to the cat demon. Jealousy that was soon to reach a head.

Alastor was utterly infatuated with you. You were a perfect mix of normalcy and insanity, something he admired dearly. You were not overbearing or clingy like Mimzy, not psychotic and wild like Niffty, and not motherly and borderline insane like Rosie. No, you were a perfect combination of what he loved in all his dear friends. That’s all you were right, a dear friend. It didn’t help that you stopped spending time with him and hanging around Husk; he grew irate. 

He needed help and fast; who better to turn to than his motherly companion, Rosie? Wanting to get you out of Husk's grasp, though he invited you along on the trip. It was pleasant. You wrapped around his arm as he led you through the streets, up until cannibal town people cowering at your feet. Once in cannibal town, though, the women came flocking. He was used to this, declining, pushing people away, and even allowing his shadows a meal or two. However, the frown on your face was the least of his expectations. He hadn’t long to question it before you two arrived at Rosie’s Emporium. 

As you two entered, you were immediately enamored with all of the goods Rosie had sold. Once quick introductions were out of the way, Alastor approached the side table to speak with his friend while you looked around more. His worries and fears were confirmed, though; he was, in fact, in love with you. Alastor wasn’t one to skimp on charm; he was a gentleman who would court you properly. 

After your visit to Rosies, you noticed a new change in Alastor. He was quite literally everywhere you were. You couldn’t get far without him complimenting you, giving you a gift, or asking you to accompany him on errands. You figured that your time secluding and hanging out with Husk might have made him think you didn’t want to be friends anymore. So, with a smile, you welcomed this change and stuck through it. Why not accept his doting behavior before he finally broke your heart and said he didn’t like dating or got a partner? 

This went on for months. The lingering touches, longer hugs, late-night talks, gifts galore, and, most importantly, him letting his guard down around you made you feel special. According to Husk, he hasn't done this with any of his other close friends. This made you almost hope that there was something more. Alastor had countless options, though, so of course, he would never choose you. Why would you allow him to embarrass you like that? 

After six months of pursuing you, Alastor believed he had amply courted you. He had enlisted the help of Charlie and Vaggie to set up the lobby so he could ask you to be his officially. The room was perfect: low lighting, candles, your favorite flowers, and food placed out. All that was missing was you there on his arm. He knew it was perfect for you, everything to your heart's desire. 

You were in shock as you entered the lobby after an impromptu errand Charlie needed to be done. You couldn’t even begin to understand what was going on. As you walked in, you saw Alastor sitting at the table before you, a large smile on his face. You looked at him quizically. “Uh, Al, what is all this?” He looked around awkwardly—that was the first time you saw that expression. “Well, Y/N, what does it look like? Of course, it's a date for us, in the hotel's safety.” You scrunched up your eyebrows, trying to process his words. “A date?” He seemed to be growing more tense by the moment; he expected you to be happy and excited, and you seemed to like his courting so much. “Yes, dear, we have been courting for some time now, which leads me to believe you were ready for a date. Was I mistaken?” You were taken aback. Are you courting? When did that happen? You looked at Alastor, trying to piece together the puzzles. Could he have liked you all this time? No, there is no way; he had so many options, so many better, less disfigured options. “Al, are you waiting for a different girl? Is this some like practice run for a person you want to date? You shouldn’t play with me like this. It’s not nice.” Alastor looked genuinely upset, only momentarily before his signature smile returned. “No, Y/N. This is for you. I have been courting you. Did you not realize my advances towards you? I have been avidly seeking you and you alone out.” You started to tear up. You wanted to believe him; you did, but it was hard. You weren’t the best; you weren’t the strongest. You had nothing going for you than surviving hell each day. “What, no? What do you mean? You can’t mean me. I am nothing, Alastor. I am nothing; I would just be embarrassing you. You are a powerful Overlord—a handsome, sought-after man. I am nothing. I am just here a sinner designed to fight through hell, that is all.” Alastor began to realize what you were getting at. You didn’t see yourself as being good enough for him. He never learned the toll you put yourself through watching person after person fall to his feet. You were watching him turn them all away and go about his day. You thought he was going to do the same to you. You thought you would never be good enough for him when you have always been what he wanted all along. 

“Oh, Y/N, no.” He rushed over to you, holding you close. Even as you fought to push him away, he stayed holding you close until you calmed. “Y/N, it has always been you. Yes, I am rough around the edges and have high expectations, but you meet them, Y/N. Can you not see how close and compatible we are since the day you moved in?” You stilled and listened. Could it be true that he liked you too this whole time? What if this was some sick prank to torture you? You looked up at Alastor, a genuine smile replacing his normal, calculated one. “Alastor, if I agree with this, you won't hurt me, right?” He sighed and held you close. “I can’t promise not to hurt you; I am an overlord and a selfish creature. However, I promise never to lie, cheat, or steal from you. I choose to love you and you alone, Y/N.” You smiled brightly and reached up, kissing his lips softly. His arms snaked around your waist as he deepened the kiss, and both of you closed your eyes. You could easily get used to being the top overlord's girl. 

Just please, please, please let him prove you wrong…

[jaybirdscoffee]

forever thinking about how the magnus archives really fumbled the Flesh. there was such potential there beyond just meat and whatever jared hopworth’s deal was. there’s the body, there’s the lack of control over it, there’s changes against your will, and sometimes hatred for it. there are uniquely horrifying bodily experiences that could have been explored that expand on it wholly. to me, the Flesh is the one fear i think never got enough development.

as a trans person, i identify with the flesh. i’m sure i’m not the only one, but the idea of a trans exploration of the Flesh and its nuances has fascinated me since i first listened to MAG 111, when we first learned about smirke’s 14. i would’ve loved (and still would) a trans or trans-coded Flesh avatar (because jared hopworth just does not cut it for me). jared’s flesh garden is something i think about often, though. the way the plants are tended, groomed and transformed into something else, people twisted into flowers comprised of their entire beings, still able to feel and exist with the horror of living as something you are not, something this world has shaped you into. i think a lot about a Flesh avatar with a similar premise, too. someone who saw themself transforming into something - someone - they couldn’t recognize, instead taking hold of it, molding their own flesh, cutting away and adding pieces, in an eternal state of visceral metamorphosis. and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

to me, the flesh is more than just meat. there are so many angles to look at it. the idea of feeling your emotions so viscerally they only manifest as bodily sensation, as nausea, as bruises and bleeding and bile, and you don’t have any idea why this is happening to you, because you’re fine. you’re fine, aren’t you? your mind is fine. sure, your head is pounding and your stomach feels like it’s a burning hole within you, and your bones ache so much you can’t move, but you’re fine. (for me, this is a big part of my being autistic. my feelings tend to register in my body before they ever do my brain). your body is turning against you in new and horrible ways, and you don’t know why. and the Flesh feeds on that confusion and pain. it loves it.

the Flesh genuinely had so, so much potential, and i wish there had been more on it, something that made it truly horrifying, especially since i think a piece of TMA’s fanbase found something in it that scratched their brains from the beginning.

anyway, yeah, i have feelings about the Flesh.

[bones4thecats]

Dragon Ball: Super Hero × S/O ; Prompt

Characters: Gamma 1, Gamma 2, and Piccolo Inspired By: Random idea... I guess? A/N: This took a while to write (like three days max) but it was totally worth it. Hope you guys like it! ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: FLUFFY BRAIN-ROT ⚠️

Disclaimer: Person A -> G.1 S/O & Piccolo / Person B -> G.2 S/O

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Gamma 1 ══════════════════════════════╝

🦈 The sound of metallic footsteps made the silent Red Ribbon Army Headquarters bearable to walk around without any fear of a cricket chirping out of nowhere. Not that many members of the re-made group feared much

🦈 Gamma 1 strutted around in search of a specific member of the Army, his S/O. They said they would be coming back by 16:00, or 4:00 pm, from shopping for some things that Dr. Hedo needed for a new experiment. Well, that and some things to spoil the young genius with

🦈 He blinked calmly as he approached their door. The symbols that his S/O had drawn laid popping on the wood. While Commander Magenta wasn't fond of the random drawings around, he had to accept it. Y/N was of amazing use to the Red Ribbon Army, after all

🦈 The door opened as Gamma 1 twisted the handle and pushed it inside. The first thing that caught the Android's eyes was his S/O laying on the bed, knees bent on the side of the mattress while their arms did the same on the opposite side

🦈 You groaned dramatically as Gamma 1 cocked an 'eyebrow', wondering what you were doing laying on your bed in such a way. While you normally did sit or lay in unique manners, this was one of the most unique ones yet for your boyfriend

"Love? Why are you laying down in such a way?" He asked.

🦈 Sitting up as you looked at your boyfriend, he noticed a glaring difference on you. Your face had a slight bruise on the cheek, specifically your right one, which Gamma 1 would plant kisses on daily

"You can't kiss my cheek anymore because even the slightest touch makes it practically stab me in the face with pain. This is what it must feel like to be deprived of everything without consent..." You griped as you buried your face into a nearby pillow.

"Why would you think I wouldn't give you a kiss on the cheek anymore?"

"Like I said!" You drawled. "My bruise is trying to murder me!"

🦈 Gamma 1 sighed, you were always a hint dramatic. It wasn't horrible to the point of sabotaging any relationships you had, but it wasn't the best thing to occur when it came out. Normally having it result in your boyfriend carrying you around in his arms or just holding you as you ranted

🦈 Walking to the top of your bed, Gamma 1 reached and delicately pulled the pillow out from your grasp. It was obvious that you had been crying, as your eyes were puffier with the light now hitting them better

"Sit up." He said, making you shuffle upwards to make room for your boyfriend.

🦈 Thankfully, Dr. Hedo had made beds that sustained the weight of both of the Android twins at once, so you didn't have to worry about any incident when laying down together

"Go ahead and lay down," he continued, "and tell me about the rest of your day. Specifically how that bruise occurred."

🦈 You sighed dramatically with your hand over your head, acting like you were in a drama-centered theater production, and began to rant about your day, from going to the store, being hit in the head by a ball some kids threw accidentally, to having to practically force Dr. Hedo into eating something real quick

🦈 Gamma 1 smiled, his metal-cheeks just barely twitching upwards as you acted out. While many would find this quality annoying, Gamma 1 adored it about you. You were different. He liked that.

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Gamma 2 ══════════════════════════════╝

🐳 You were used to your boyfriend, Gamma 2, being a complete idiot. His cockiness usually got ahead of him, resulting in some unfavorable situations to be made

🐳 Gamma 2 was not only having a bad day, but he hadn't been able to see his S/O in over 36 hours! You had been sent out by Commander Magenta to grab some paperwork to sign off a deal with another company and hadn't returned from your miles-long journey to-and-from

🐳 He crashed onto the chair, his feet raising and hitting the ground, making a loud bang echo in the building. The passing soldiers just shrugged and continued on their shifts, weapons raised and guards up

🐳 Gamma 2 groaned as he shifted, trying to bring his knees up to his face to bury into, and it was not going as he planned

🐳 As he kept shifting and trying to bring his knees up into the chair, it was so small that it wouldn't allow anymore room for his feet to rest, which was starting to annoy the powerful-Android

🐳 All of a sudden, the door nearby opened, revealing your form there. Your stoic expression calming Gamma 2 down and making him jump up and fly into you at full-speed

🐳 When he hit your frame to hug you, you mentally thanked Dr. Hedo for adding some enhancements onto your form. He knew that Gamma 2 was an excited fellow and he wanted you to be safe from any kind of danger you faced. You were like the new Android 17 and 18

🐳 Your hair flew back from the pressure of the air before falling back down on your back. Gamma 2 just smiled and clung to your body, asking how you were and how much he missed you

🐳 Blinking as he emphasized his last couple days, you mentally looked a lot differently than you did on the outside. While anyone who passed would've guessed that you were annoyed, a select few (Dr. Hedo and Gamma 1), would know that you were happy to be near your boyfriend

"-And I swear, if I have to listen to another documentary without you suffering by me, I may just combust!"

"Is that so?"

"YEAH!"

🐳 Sitting down in a nearby chair while the Android burrowed his face into your stomach while sitting on the floor, you continued to listen to his dramatic rambles. You could sit here forever listening to his adorable speeches...

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Piccolo ═══════════════════════════════╝

🪺 Piccolo trained and meditated all day, when he wasn't watching Pan with you that is

🪺 Your boyfriend and you normally would just sit down and do whatever you wanted. You normally watched something on your phone while Piccolo just meditated, he enjoyed these moments with you dearly

🪺 But the moments you held deeper was when you could finally get underneath his grumpy-exterior

🪺 Take the other day for example. You had a crap day, coming home from dealing with Bulma and Vegeta's aggression for nearly four hours in a 'therapy session'

🪺 You closed the door behind you with your foot and stumbled into the living room, plopping your bag down on the ground next to you as your legs gave out and you collapsed onto the soft sofa that you got for you, Pan, and Piccolo to rest on when babysitting

🪺 The yells of the husband and wife made you groan and try thinking of something else, ranging from the fight you had against Frieza on Old Namek years ago to the newer fight there was against almost every other universe in existence

🪺 Piccolo then walked inside from the backdoor, his larger form caused larger-sounding steps. So, when he took his first plunge into the home, you knew it couldn't possibly be anyone else except for your Namekian lover

🪺 The Namekian stepped inside from the kitchen and he paused when catching sight of you laying face-first into the cushions. He knew what was up, you had been hired by Bulma to help her and Vegeta handle some anger-issues, and even he knew how bad that could be

🪺 You at first pushed it off like nothing, saying you'd be fine and that it'd be nice to hang around your two old friends. Oh, how wrong you must've been...

"Y/N? Are you alright?" He only heard the muffling of your voice coming from the pillows in a reply.

"Lift your head up. I can't understand you when your burying your face six-feet-deep into the cushions of our couch."

🪺 Pulling yourself up from the softer-materials, you looked at Piccolo and groaned, flopping back on the back of the couch that time before ranting about your day

🪺 Piccolo sat down beside you as you spoke. This ranged from how idiotic it was for the married couple of more than 10 years to argue in such a constant manner. Especially when it would seemingly die out and when one person said another word, it'd go right back up in flames

🪺 As your dramatics increased, Piccolo just watched and listened. His large ears slightly twitched as you swapped from acting like Vegeta in the situation to acting like Bulma. Heck, you even put on a blue hat to be the woman and then picked up a nearby large hunk of broccoli to act like the male

🪺 With anyone else, Piccolo would be annoyed and just interrupt with his opinions on the matter. But this wasn't anyone else, this was you. You were his chosen one. You were his one and only, no matter how long either of you lived to be

🪺 So, for now, he'd let you have your fun while he had his

[biromantic-nerd]

Hello, EDS Sam is not a headcanon I've heard before. Please keep talking. You have my full attention

Oh ho!!! Yes!!! 💖💖

Thank you for your interest!!!

I LOVE the thought of EDS Sam! I've never put together examples I just really vibed with it.

Mostly it's the way Jared as an actor moves that makes me think it. I'd love to imagine Sam with joints popping out far easier than they should. Expert at relocating them and popping them back in. Doesn't even think anything of it, just attributes it to a result of hunting. Dislocations and subluxations (partial dislocations) galore.

He's so tall and his wingspan is huge. That's something a lot of doctors look for in EDS. (Although after years of hearing otherwise, I have since learned that it is not a definitive symptom and people can have EDS without being tall with long arms.) And in additional to being tall, chronic EDS pain is often misdiagnosed as growing pains; not helped by that most of EDS people are tall.

Hypermobile joints is the big one for me for Sam. The way he moves his body is so unique (and a lot of the Jared pretzel sitting poses make me think of that for Sam lol) and he bends his body in interesting ways! Climbing fences or crumpling to the ground - Sam just can pose and twist in really interesting ways.

Easy bruising - now I wouldn't say Sam bruises easily in canon but he sure does bruise often! So! Similar to poor wound healing: Sam's often hurt in canon. I know it's irl why Sam wears a cast on his hand, for example, but that's exactly the kind of thing that people with EDS experience! A 'weird' injury from being tackled that people go 'really? That's how you got hurt?'

Digestive issue - I headcanon Sam with IBS (not as sexy I know) because I think it'd be fun with the way he has food issues + eats a lot of salad + can't eat a burrito without horrible gas, according to Dean.

Now fatigue and chronic pain go so hard for Sam. I LOVE that for him. I always love that for him. In so many ways.

Also. So we see in s1 that Sam can draw a tree pretty good!! (The tree in front of their childhood house.) And later on (Season 3, I think) we see Sam draw a person and it is not so great. Now we can attribute that to him as not being good at drawing people or only being good with source material references (his vision for the tree) OR!!! We can interrupt that as the joints in Sam's hands hurting more that day and his drawing skills (fine motor skills) suffering for it!! (I can be sooo normal about this, I promise.) Or even muscle weakness.

People with EDS often have sensory issues. (Autistic Sam you are ALWAYS on my mind)

Anyways, this wasn't really too specific but I LOVE the idea of Sam with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and apparently I am NOT the only one! @homehauntsyou has some posts about it!

[blond3ang3l]

Hi! I really liked this fic you did [ https://www.tumblr.com/blond3ang3l/775462868115144704/valerias-final-valentine-gift?source=share ] with valeria, and was wondering if you could maybe do another one with a A/O/B au (Alpha!Valeria and Omega!Male reader) or rather do a work with Mirko [Bnha] and male reader during her heat. Also you do not a have to do any of these requests if you do not feel comfortable or do not want to do them! I can completely understand it! :)

I love both these ideas so this one will and I will do miruko another time! I'm not sure if you wanted NSFW so I wrote two separate parts with the NSFW under the divider!

⋱♱⋰ ⋱✮⋰ ⋱♱⋰ ⋱✮⋰ ⋱♱⋰⋱♱⋰ ⋱✮⋰ ⋱⋰

Valeria had a unique relationship. It was rare to have a male omega and even rarer for there to be a female alpha. Yet somehow you two found each other and ended up clicking. It took a while, Valeria was so strong headed and regardless of your status she wanted to prove she was superior to you. The thing was, you didn't mind at all. You actually loved it.

She was everything you could want. Valeria was the type to make you her absolute everything. Whether you were a soldier or not she would always do everything to protect you. Her precious mate. You were so damn good to her and she loved every bit of it. Always trusting her instincts and letting her care for you. At times she could be aggressive and you were the more calmer one. That's what made you two work.

Her ruts were something entirely different though and fuck did you love it. She would fuck you into the mattress for hours. You could always tell when her heats were coming because she would always get touchy. Usually she wasn't one for pda, always preferring to keep things private. She was a soldier, her life with you was something others didn't need to worry about. Her preheats though she could not keep her damn hands off you.

So often she would sneak off to come to you guys home by the safe house and you would have to scold her for leaving her team and telling her they were going to go searching for her. Since being with you her heats started happening more frequently. 2-4 times a year turned to damn their every other month so they stopped questioning her because the last thing they wanted was a sexually deprived and irritable Valeria snapping at them.

This heat hit her out of no where. This would be the second month in a row which was completely unusual. Luckily she was at home when she felt it. Waking out of a horrible sleep, her slick sticking to her thighs making her suck her teeth. She turned around and looked at your sleeping form. A pulse in her clit made her bite her lip. She moved to crawl on top of you, soft kisses being placed down your body till she got down to your tummy. You stirred in your sleep and she took the small sign to part your legs.

"Just me baby, don't worry." Hearing you start to wake up she slipped her hands into your shorts tugging them down around your ankles. Not even being fully awake you could feel the tension in the room. Her smell thicker than usual, filling the entire room up. It made you feel dizzy, just the way she liked.

The smell of her and faintly you filled the room. It wouldnt take a genius to know how badly your girlfriend wanted you. Slipping your pants down with ease she moved between your legs. Your breath hitched feeling her thumb wipe up the bit of precum already leaking from your tip. Her other hand reached into the other drawer grabbing one of her least favorite toys. A double sided dildo and lube. She always preferred fucking you or riding you but it was so early and she just needed to get off quickly.

"Gotta be quick, still gotta tell the others I'm not coming in." Covering the toy in lube to ease you from any pain she slowly pushed it inside you, watching the way your eyes fluttered as you tried to hold back your soft sleepy moans "just starting pretty boy, don't hold out on me now. Not in the mood." Her face moved to the crook of your neck as she thrusted the toy into her as well, adjusting her hips making it slowly move around inside you causing shaky moans.

Your hands rubbed her thighs as she nipped at the scent gland right in the crook of your neck. Her hips rolled against yours, the toy filling her and you up and hitting every spot she loved. "So damn handsome baby. Our kids would look so pretty like you wouldn't they? Maybe I should make that happen, huh? She pulled your hips up, moving you closer to her. She hooked one of your legs with hers almost grinding against you. Throwing her head back feeling her clit brush against your thighs as she fucked the toy into both of you. " Val baby-mmph! Take off today. Wanna be with you."

Fuck you were saying right to her. She couldn't think properly at the moment, only wanting to make you cum as much as possible the entire day. The love of her life was right in her arms you just looked so good. Leaning down she slammed her lips on yours. One of arms wrapped around her neck, the other moving down so you could wrap your hand around your dick, quickening your impending orgasm.

"You gonna cum pretty boy? Gonna give it to me." Sloppy thrust into your hand and a small whimper against her lips was all she needed as an answer. "Such a good boy for me. It's a good thing I got you to quit that silly job, huh? Cause you're gonna be here all week, pretty boy."

⋱♱⋰ ⋱✮⋰ ⋱♱⋰ ⋱✮⋰ ⋱♱⋰⋱♱⋰ ⋱✮⋰ ⋱⋰

[dontdoxarya]

Growing causes so much fucking pain.

To be clear I’m not talking about growth coming from painful experiences of heartbreak. No. It’s not about how your ex made you learn something about yourself. Or how you snapped at your favorite person; lost closeness to them. Then felt horrible.

I’m talking about how the results of growth themselves cause a unique kind of pain.

I still remember being a kid. I was so depressed. So hollow. So empty. My friends couldn’t hurt me. Why? Because I didn’t open up to them. The closest thing to being hurt by people I got was being bullied and abused. So I told myself that loving someone would be perfect. Only a perfect person could ever care about me. If someone was good to me; were unlike those that attacked me. They must be an angel.

But then I found myself in a trap. Every time I interacted with nice people? I started to feel shitty. I got so jealous of other people. Got so scared of losing them. That as fast as I met them; I’d lose them. I’d get too obsessive. So our relationship never grew. I thought that was painful. It was worse.

Being hollow sucked. But it was the weirdest form of safety. I could assure myself no one would ever like a horrible person like me.

I thought the obsession I had in the past was real care and love. But it wasn’t. I loved the idea of them. I never knew THEM so it never was a lost of someone I truly KNEW. That’s when I started having more real relationships with people and that brings a brand you brand of pain.

You know love someone for who they are. But it means learning to find peace with flaws. But more importantly conflict and bad moments.

“I know she loves me. She’s just busy.” Hurts way more than “she doesn’t love me anymore.”

The belief that someone has stopped liking you. But more importantly that good ol’ rage. “I hate her. She sucks. We were never friends. She abandoned me.” It’s a fucking cocoon. You aren’t feeling a single thing grounded in reality.

Learning that your friends can love you to bits? But still have a life outside of you. That hurts like hell. No one is coming to fix you. No one can save you but yourself.

You wish your friend texted more? Or made more plans? Maybe it’s just not her style of communication. Or maybe she has a lot going on emotionally. Dafuq you gonna do? Stop loving her?

Nah. You are gonna have to sit with that pain. No hiding behind externalization. No ignoring what you feel. You aren’t going to pretend it is a comment on you.

SIT THERE

BREATH IN THE DIALECTICAL THOUGHT

OH! YOU GOT INTO A FIGHT?

IS SHE A TERRIBLE PERSON?

DO YOU REALLY HATE HER?

WAS SHE ACTUALLY TOXIC?

no…

DO YOU STILL LOVE HER?

ARE YOU HAVING A TRAUMA RESPONSE?

IS SHE TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR TRAUMA?

IS SHE ACTUALLY EVIL? OR ARE YOU JUST UPSET

DO YOU STILL CARE ABOUT HER AND LIKE HER AND WANT HER IN YOUR LIFE?

WOULD YOU REGRET BURNING YOUR BRIDGE WITH HER?

Yes

THEN LIVE WITH THAT HURT MOTHER FUCKER.

DO WHAT YOU CAN TO STABILIZE

DONT LET YOUR LACK OF EMOTIONAL REGULATION HURT HER

DONT LET IT HURT YOU

Fine

WANNA HEAR THE REAL KICKER?

IF YOU CAN LOVE HER EVEN THROUGH A FIGHT?

MAYBE SHE CAN TOO.

MAYBE SHE DOES.

Your ass isn’t gonna get abandoned for not being perfect.

Not because she is perfect. You dumb shit.

If you. The person who vilifies yourself. Hates yourself. Is always terrified. Always worried they’ll burn bridges.

If your dumbass can do it.

SHE CAN

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID SHES BETTER THAN YOU. NOT ME

If her imperfections don’t make you hate her. Than your imperfections don’t make her hate you.

DUMBASS

I am not allowing you to mask your own pain and trauma behind hurting your loved ones.

I am telling you to sit with and process that pain on your own.

DO NOT LET IT RUIN SOMETHING THAT BRINGS VALUE TO YOUR LIFE.

DUMFUCK

That’s the thing. Growing means learning to sit with that pain. Learning to trust things. Learning to have things that you value and fear losing them.

You don’t trust them because they are perfect. You trust them because it’s all you can do.

Growing means opening up yourself to the potential of being hurt. Because being hurt by someone you trust…. Is better than being hurt because you hurt someone you SHOULD HAVE trusted

[lavender-rosa]

Live commentary and theorizing on the new ekuoto chapter

Yeah that makes sense, remember how easily Asmodeus dispatched Verge when he tried to kidnap her as Aria? Those without any miraculous power are powerless against the demon lords. Due to the Priest being the protagonist it's easy forget that, though. Verge, one of strongest witches of the sabbath and someone who could go toe to toe with a trained exorcist in Dante has to resort to flattery and trickery to get anything done.

It's a survival mechanism from his childhood, refined to perfection. Verge had to distract, to deceive and to flatter to make his horrible living situation a bit more bearable. He's used to attempting to soothe the egos of monsters, the demon lords aren't that much different.

Verge protecting the Dante cake and Catherine the Imuri one 🖤

Okay, at first i thought this was a snippet of the revolution in Heaven due to Lucifer acting as the encouraging leader. But now i notice that Rofocale isn't wearing the white robes the angels are always depicted with and if you look at his upper back you'll notice what i think are the remains of angel wings so i guess this depicts the aftermath of the rebellion? Lucifer testing Rofocale's loyalty and strength to become the guardian of his Gehenna? Interesting...

(I hate how manga plus keeps splitting the splash pages into two 😫)

Anyways here we have symbols of all the demon lords Priest has fought so far. Snails for Belphagor, tentacles for Leviathan, Beelzebub's sword from when he fought Leah, Mammon's crow wings and Asmodeus' creepy bat-eye wings.

It has been hinted since chapter 2 that Priest has been gradually losing his power which was outright confirmed in the aftermath of the Gluttony arc. The more connected Priest becomes to his humanity the more disconnected he becomes to his holiness.

And now it has been confirmed that not only is he losing his connection to Heaven but he's being actively "corrupted". This fight with Beelzebub is a good example, Priest wasn't even able to land a scratch on him even though he was in his weakened form, contrast this to Beelzebub's fight with Leah where he was in his prime yet Leah was able to sear him to the bone with her alchemy. Seems like Priest won't be able to brute force his way through the demon lords anymore.

Although I'm a bit confused about Beelzebub's comment on Priest being "out of Satan's control now" because isn't Priest falling from grace/getting corrupted exactly what Satan would want? I don't know, there's nothing those demon bitches love more than being vague as fuck.

Also I wonder why the artist decided to draw callbacks to the Demon Lords rather than something more unique to the Priest himself.

It makes sense that the fragment wouldn't be digested, although I remember one of the extras stating that anyone that would get too close to Asmodeus' purified wing would lose consciousness as it rejects the sin of man so it's weird seeing absolutely no side-effects to it's presence. I think it would make more sense if the fragment started causing pain once it exited Beelzebub. It would hammer home Priest's growing disconnect with Heaven even more. Maybe that detail got retconned but i liked the idea of an angel's purity being so overwhelming that you can't even stand close to a small piece of them.

We saw Beelzebub briefly mourn the comraderie he felt with the Demon Lords during the Rebellion in Heaven. Specifically saying "Lucifer this is the end of the road we abandoned" (see my banner image) but that new statement... i really don't know what it's supposed convey. Bitterness, mayhaps? Burning the bridge, a desire to see his fallen leader hurt. Maybe it's something more practical, Priest to be at his strongest so Beelzebub can consume him and absorb his power? I don't know , I'm just going to accept that I will continue getting teased with those vagues statements and panels for what will feel like an eternity until I get like, a mountain of flashbacks that will recontextualize them lol

Beelzebub even put his little fondant monstrosity in fancy packaging to take it home, aww. If I was Verge i would place the cake atop of Dante so when he wakes up he'll be left utterly confused.

I think he's referring to retrieving a fragment from Lucifer for Baba Yaga's ritual. I do admire the opportunism but on the other hand Verge really keeps testing his fucking luck with the demon lords.

Things are going quite smoothly right now , we got the fragment, Dante's going to be okay, something's going to go wrong. My guess? Mammon. He's the only Demon Lord whose whereabouts we haven't been updated on in this new arc and the last time we saw him he was still in Gehenna, his desired battle with Priest interrupted by Belphagor. Even though it would make sense for him to appear I really have no desire to see that asshat again.

Maybe we'll get updates on the rest of the exorcists? The witches? Tachibana, even? Maybe Cath can talk about Imuri for a bit? I dunno, excited for the next chapter.

If you read this far, do you like this format of chapter reviews? Should I continue it? 🤔

[transinistorarch]

𝚁𝙴𝙵𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝙷𝙴𝙴𝚃 !

Can ya tell I got sick of it in the end ? Cause I got sick of it in the end LOL. So. I don't consider my Alastor extremely changed from canon and canon kinda fucks with me so, nice, but I have been writing Alastor since the pilot ep and I was COMPLETELY prepared for him to be totally different from canon, hence I have a bunch of lil ideas and divergences about him that do make him a little bit more unique to me specifically and that don't and aren't intended to follow canon. Most predominately my Alastor isn't actually a deer and while I think this is OBVIOUS for canon Alastor also, I'm a bit heavier on the suggestion he isn't what he looks like. For me, he's heavily inspired by the Not-Deer cryptids. Which I went into much more in depth here.

👁️ ) Probably the most unique aspect of my personal take on Alastor is the dual motif of something reptilian, most like an alligator or crocodile. As a result, he has patches on his body that resembles scales and his back has protrusive scutes particularly aligned with his spine.

👁️ ) He's covered in a thin layer of fur none the less, though he is not 'fluffy'. He'd be more like a horse texture wise as his fur isn't necessarily course or harsh to touch but its not plush and silky either. Combined with his more "scaly" patches he gives of the disturbing impression of something wrapped in deer skin or a unnatural hybrid between a deer and some type of reptile.

👁️ ) He has very sharp, jagged teeth. They are yellowed with his gums being black. They are not necessarily even but they're also not entirely consistent in appearance. Alastor has shapeshifting qualities and his mouth/teeth tend to transform to suit his mood, the more annoyed he is the bigger/sharper and more numerous they are. They're always alarmingly nasty, however. Man practically has a chainsaw for a mouth. My inspirations for what his teeth/mouth situation looks like def draw from Pennywise from It and the Creeper from Jeeper's Creepers.

🐊 Side note ━ you probably don't wanna get bitten by Alastor. If you've ever seen a shark bite you can take that and multiply it by about 5. Even a playful nip or nibble is gonna be painful and do some damage. A proper bite is, uh, well you're not intended to live through the experience and if you did by some chance of not bleeding out you have the whole... Infection thing to worry about.

👁️ ) Similar deal with his antlers. Due to his shapeshifting qualities they can appear a little different depending on his mood. Generally they're very small and harmless looking but make him mad and they grow. They're also sharp and when grown ? Very dangerous.

👁️ ) My Alastor is not heavily scared, I'm not even sure where that came from in fanon but nonetheless, its not a thing here. He has one notable scar / wound on his body and this is from Adam's holy axe. He's probably the only sinner demon who has ever survived such an injury and he's definitely paying for it. Its nasty and its very painful. Despite his attempts to stitch it closed, it hasn't healed much and rather seems to just throb and fester almost as if terribly infected and it is also horribly bruised beside being a large gash. This is very physically taxing for him and definitely saps his strength. He's doing a pro job at thugging it out but yeah, I def hc this is a thing and it hasn't just magically disappeared.

🐊 Side note ━ I def headcanon that demons are able to regenerate from just about all injuries inflicted on each other / injuries from non-holy weaponry, including "fatal" ones. However, holy weaponry is different and the only way to permanently scar, injure or kill them. I also headcanon Alastor is one of the few if not only Sinner Demons who was able to permanently kill other demons by apperently devouring their souls. Hence the fates of many of the previous overlords and Alastor's terrifying reputation.

👁️ ) I def headcanon Alastor has a particular scent about him, although I wouldn't call it really gross or unpleasant. He tends to smell little like iron and roux, with an occasionally mossy undertone. He can also have a smell of spices ; paprika and cayenne pepper especially cause his ass does be cooking and occasionally spices have a way of infusing in ones hair and clothes and thats very Alastor.

👁️ ) Alastor's an absolutely bizarre and hilarious contradiction when it comes to hygiene. There's certain things he doesn't like while other things just don't matter to him at all. For example: He does not brush his teeth, doesn't really care about oral hygiene what-so-ever. His hair is some weird in-between where its messy and yet not at the same time. Its long and shaggy but he brushes it occasionally, he just doesn't care to cut it or keep it tidy as he did when he was alive. If he does "cut it" its literally just hacking with a blunt instrument and not a proper hair cut at all.

He's particular about his clothing, but also in strange ways. Its tattered and torn in places but he'd still fuss about making sure everything is right ━ ie, its fine for him to be walking around with ripped coat-tails but he would make sure his tie was fixed properly. He wouldn't like, say, food or drink spilt on his clothing but he doesn't care about blood and viscera. In fact the latter isn't even that uncommon but fortunately never really noticeable thanks to his colour scheme and again while he isn't someone concerned with frequent bathing or using perfumes/colognes, he tends to get away with it due to usually smelling like spices and ingredients in his frequent cooking.

👁️ ) His demon form has obviously transformed his anatomy in many ways and this extends to the intimate areas. Probably one of Alastor's favorite aspects of his demon form is the fact his genitalia is almost all internal now. It has an external suggestion but thats about it. Nothing annoying poking around on the outside unless he wants/needs it. OF COURSE it can be unsheathed but he's decided no one needs to be seeing that and this is the public tumblr so we have some censoring going on. I might link an uncensored, private version eventually, though because I know the world wants to see demon not-deer dick super bad. /j

👁️ ) Ended up giving him the tail because I know he'd lowkey hate it. It sits flat against his ass/between his legs at almost all times though cause he's not showing it off and not making holes in his pants for it. The less anyone's looking at his tail/ass the better, in his opinion.

As far as his clothing goes I don't really imagine them too differently from canon. There is some very minor design changes I'd make but beside changing his tie brooch thingy to green along with his monocle I couldn't have been bothered to make an actual effort to show them. Maybe next time I'll try draw another "ref" to focus on clothing specifically. I think I would also redesign his microphone thinggy a bit too, personally, but yeah, maybe for next time cause I'm sick to death of this rn LMAO.

[ryuichirou]

so what about the twst girlies and sex on their periods?

who's gonna make the room look like a crime scene and come out looking like the killer and their victim?

Another very old but very intriguing ask that I just couldn’t ignore 😭 I hope you are still out there, Anon! Thank you for indulging me with more topics about the girls, I’m always having a blast with them.

Even though this particular topic isn’t something I think too often about, and I also have a lot of personal feelings and biases about it, as always, I tried to be as objective as possible while writing this. It was fun...

Also, I don’t know if mermaids or fae would even have periods (beastwomen too to be fair), but for the sake of this ask let’s imagine that they would.

Alright then...

Riddle – the idea of creating such a mess sounds terrifying and absolutely embarrassing to her, so she would be against it + she is always in such a horrible mood that people barely dare to even talk to her unless it’s absolutely necessary. But all that doesn’t mean that she can’t have a moment of care with Trey... or an absolutely cursed crime scene looking situation with Floyd after a huge passionate fight.

Ace – periods never stop her from masturbating (as long as she doesn’t have to touch the blood), but usually stop her from having sex. Even if she isn’t the one getting the most attention, she just isn’t in the mood for that during that time. That being said, Deuce and she did try to hump each other with their underwear on once... didn’t end well.

Deuce – unlike Ace, she doesn’t like to even look down there during her period, let alone touch it in any way, so she also usually isn’t the one to want to have sex on her period. But once again, Ace and she did try humping each other through their underwear once, and the friction was good, but at some point Deuce fell from the bed. Having a bump on your thigh isn’t fun.

Trey – she absolutely wouldn’t want anyone to touch her when she is on her period, and in theory her instinct is to say «just rest, okay?» to a girl when she is on hers. Trey is very caring and nurturing, but even to her cleaning up after period sex doesn’t sound very pleasing... but maybe it’s because she’s never thought of this scenario with Riddle. Or because she is afraid of obtaining a new troubling fetish... since, you know. Painting something red is technically her specialty...

Cater – in theory – absolutely! With tampon on and right after shower, of course! In actuality, she is probably just way too desperate. Chances are she wouldn’t want to have sex on her period when the possibility actually occurs...  She won’t be able to stop worrying about what’s down there.

Leona – she gets horny on her period but doesn’t want to deal with blood. Of course, she won’t need to do it herself, but even lying down somewhere else while Ruggie is cleaning her bed is a pain, so she’s more likely to do it in the shower. Or rather, go in the shower to wash herself and then yell for Ruggie to get her ass in there.

Ruggie – her periods aren’t that often of an occasion due to her unique anatomy, so usually isn’t an issue to her: she prefers to wait for a couple of days and then do her thing. She doesn’t like cleaning up after the other girlies either unless she is getting something from it. So with Leona, who prefers to yell from the shower, it’s actually as good as it can get for Ruggie.

Jack – as always, Jack is the type to rationalise something and then do a completely different thing when the passion takes over her head. She will get a faint “I should stop” feeling, but still continue, completely ignoring the thought. I think she is the first one on this list who would actually end up looking like a bloody killer lol She will be so embarrassed when the realisation hits her...

Azul – ah, the other housewarden whose dormmates would know exactly when she is having her period. The one whose period gets very offensively called “Shark week” behind her back (Jade very sneakily started this tradition). But I digress; I think Azul would also be the one who wouldn’t want to either touch herself or someone else when they’re bleeding. But! I also think Azul could get fired up enough to do something like this unexpectedly to even herself. She could get surprisingly similar to Jack... but this is a very rare, if not once-in-a-lifetime occasion.

Jade – she isn’t a very sexual being in general, so it’s not like this is a choice she has to make on a regular basis, but she would love to do it at least once. Both in terms of experimentation, in terms of how fun of a reaction she could get from a person she is with, and in terms of how much of a mess she could make out of both her lover and herself. She likes the idea of the bed looking like a crime scene after sex, so if the circumstances are right, she could be rather shameless about it. She could also wear long gloves and a lab coat while preparing to have sex with a girl on her period just for the drama of it.

Floyd – she doesn’t give a fuck for the most part, both in terms of herself and her potential lovers. Sometimes she could go “geh, I don’t wanna”, but for the most part the girlies she is with are either shy or mad about her touching them down there while they’re on their period, and in Floyd’s book this is all the motivation she needs. She is actually the one to shove a tongue down there with zero hesitation.

Kalim – even though she is an absolute sweetheart who would probably love to make her loved one feel better by touching her while she is on her period, it sounds kind of messy and Kalim is a bit squeamish, so she’ll be waiting until her periods are over! She is the type to do anything other than touching down there though, so while Jamil could say “don’t do it, I’m on my period”, it definitely won’t stop Kalim from kissing her and touching her in other places.

Jamil – if possible, she prefers not to do it. She knows that it’s technically possible and that there is nothing dangerous about it (aside from her having to sneakily wash Kalim’s sheets at 3 am), but it’s just too much of a headache to even think about it. Which is a shame because her periods could get very painful, and her body responds very well to her having sex... it actually makes the pain go away a little bit.

Vil – she also prefers not to do it, but she still does sometimes. Sometimes it’s because Rook took things a little too far and got her horny, sometimes it’s because she really needs to relieve some stress. But she is someone who does it with a lot of preparation:  a towel, tons of tissues (both wet and dry), a scented candle (to distract from anything else), but she’ll also have a tampon. And obviously, she’ll be right out of the shower. It’s an entire ritual... it would be easier to just do it in the shower – a thought that occurs when she’s already too deep into these preparations.

Rook – she appreciates the drama and the dedication that Vil puts into creating a beautiful ritual out of them making love when she is on her period, but honestly? Rook doesn’t care, it’s not like she won’t eat out a girl when she is having a heavy flow somewhere outside behind a tree that barely hides them. She knows the risks and she cares about hygiene, but her idea of what is and isn’t okay is a bit weird. While she respects Vil’s wishes for now, she really wants to make her let go of all of it one day... She just thinks Vil would look very beautiful like this.

Epel – she doesn’t like getting periods and doesn’t like anyone mentioning her having periods, so to her it’s probably a “no”. It’s not like she doesn’t get horny, and sometimes she feels like her not being able to have sex when she’s on her period isn’t fair, and sometimes she gets an urge to do it anyway... but then she just sighs and does nothing :( Maybe Floyd will help her out...

Idia – her periods are kind of irregular, and her sex drive is kind of low, so it’s not like she has to actively think about it. Oh, that thing is bleeding? Great, not touching it for a week. Didn’t really want to anyway. But of course there are a lot of people in her life that could make her reconsider... Even though the idea of sex on periods sounds like a nightmare to her. It’s like sex (already a scary and horrible thing) + a mess that you uncontrollably make + it’s fucking pussy blood! What could be worse?

Ortho – she really thinks that Idia should get at least some stimulation when she’s on her period! It will make her cramps go away! It will make her mood better! So many benefits and not a whole lot of downsides! Who cares about some mess? She doesn’t feel disgust or shame, so she will very happily and very persistently offer her help! Plus, she’ll probably think that the blood looks very cool on her...

Lilia – another one who is very used to pleasing a girl on her periods. She is probably tired of hearing that one joke about a vampire lesbian, but she was actually the one whom that joke originated from... about 100 years ago. But even though the jokes get old, having a sensitive body squirming under you unable to cover neither shame nor pleasure doesn’t. So yeah, Lilia probably doesn’t mind the blood the most out of everyone... but! She doesn’t like getting touched. She doesn’t like getting touched in genera,l to be honest.

Silver – she is Lilia’s girl, so she is pretty okay with it too. She never learned to feel ashamed about it in general, so even if she leaks, it’s just a matter of “oh no it’s dirty now”. Unfortunate, but not a big deal. So she would have sex while on her period, no problem. Although, even she thinks that Lilia covered in blood looks a bit... scary.

Sebek – she is another one who would be against it in theory, but then the horniness would win... She would probably be very scandalised by Silver’s attitude towards this thing, but also? Surprisingly aroused. Which is good because this is going to prepare her for Malleus, so she really should be thankful to both Silver and Lilia.

Malleus – you guessed it – she is also pretty used to it. But she isn’t as shameless as Silver, mostly because she is a bit squeamish: she’s a princess, after all. So she actually won’t do it just anywhere, but when she’s having a bath or right after that – it’s the perfect moment for her to lie down and let her suitor please her, be it Lilia or Sebek. She doesn’t like the mess though, so they better be very careful. Which is kind of impossible with her flow...

[ceratedfish24]

Communication skills are not my best thing too, and I definitely get over the board sometimes. My biggest problem is bouncing from topic to topic and not having a clear segment to flow into another thought, so I hope you give me a spec of doubt, if something sounds out of nowhere.

The most important thing that I implied, but might have not worded, so you missed it. Is you maintagging: 1) anyone who is a more relaxed fan will think there is some drama, or just get a sour feeling over being called fake fans. They're the people I meant, when I said to create a safe space, not trolls. Most CC's are very welcoming of the people who aren't as crazy in the fandom, as you and I. But your actions constuct an idea of some toxic Scott or Joel fans. 2) You are bringing attention to hate. As in to create your a post about something hateful, you have to repeat all the unfavorable things said. It's like coming into CC's chat and saying "It's so horrible that everyone hates you and says these mean things about you". Even if you will add that you support them, the hateful comments that you repeat will stick to them, as before they might have not seen them. (This example is not exact, but Scott is on Tumblr and if you maintag, he could see it) 3) You just said that the person is convinced they're right, and that you're stubborn. The three people that will see this post are people who like, indifferent or hate Scott, and by your own words the post won't do anything. Internet fight are most often just talking to a wall. Even me saying all of this won't change anything about what you think, this is just an english workout for me, so thank you for humoring me.

I get that people are homophobic, you don't have to say this every single paragraph. I am queer, as many other people on Tumblr and in MCYT fandom in general. Gem got a lot of hate in Secret Life for being a bi woman. If I take a moment out of her stream and give that line to her character, if I analyze it on my own blog, see how her character interacts with other people. Will you say that I'm a biphobic misogynist? If I just simply didn't like her character arc or actions and critizied them in a manner of looking at life series as a story? You're trying to connect outright homophobic people to people who are invested in the fandom to the point of spending hours thinking and analyzing characters.

And why is analyzing CC's bad? The CC's know that they're playing characters and these characters aren't words in a book. Every individual CC approaches their character differently, they're all storytellers, and thinking about how the actions CC choose affect their character is extremely interesting. If we wanted to read a book, we would have, but Life Series and similar concepts are a completely unique thing, which is somewhat comparable to dnd.

To add. Being critical of CC's is okay. They are not a god. People thinking that them being mean to each other is real and not a roleplay is the same as trying to be a knight in shining armor for them, it's all parasocial. They have flaws and we're allowed to look into them, being a content creator comes with that as well as a certain power (By power I mean CCs can send mobs of people to bully one person, sometimes not even intentionally, and other things I'm too lazy to go into). We should not dismiss someone's behavior, if they are gay or a woman or neurogivergent, but it feels like you are unintentionally promoting this thinking that gay people can't be bad. And I think Scott is a good person, who made some mistakes as any person can do (I'm not implying or saying any particular things, mistakes are a thing that everyone does). But you don't actually know him or any CCs. With the most recent example in this community, it's impossible to know if someone is shitty. Being that fixated on protecting a person only to realize that they aren't the perfect human being is painful. I'm just advising for you to take a step back from investing yourself too much into a CCs life. (I'm saying this as a person who can be quite parasocial, which I am working on).

I do not wish any harm on you or others, I am not threatening or trying to make mean comments. I'm just putting my net zero into this conversation, as a common internet dweller.

Hi! Your ask was not destroyed at all. Tumblr delivered it just fine!

Addressing your first point, I understand that being called a fake fan can feel rough, but I genuinely cannot imagine criticizing someone who is close to someone you care about for being cruel to the person you care about if the person you're criticizing didn't do anything cruel, especially if you're taking a mutual moment of teasing between friends out of context and targeting one person for a harmless act that both people committed.

I am bringing attention to hate. I don't think anyone should do it all of the time, but I still think that it's important, especially if the hate was unintentionally awful, to address when people are being really awful to one person who hasn't done anything out of the ordinary. The post has been tagged with discourse. If someone does not want to see fandom critical posts, they can filter out the tag. If you disagree with my approach to dealing with hate, that's perfectly valid and I respect that.

Scott, unfortunately, already knows about the hate. He has replied to some of the posts himself, and he has acted on some posts himself.

My post has done something. Not necessarily done something life changing, but I did see that it brought comfort to some people. It's fine if I argue with a wall, but I looked at the points that the other person was making, decided what I agreed with, and made changes and apologies accordingly. When I was not met with similar respect and the other person instead moved the topic to be critical of me and refusing to respond when I inquired about what I felt they did wrong, that's when I became a wall too. When the points that I made were dismissed in favor of an argument that drifted from the problem and the reasoning that I felt was justified - and it's fine if other's disagree, but, again, that doesn't mean I'm changing anything - that's when I stopped taking the conversation too seriously.

Gem getting hate for being bi is different from Gem getting hate for a specific thing she did unless the thing is something that most if not all of the other players did. If someone picked Scott apart for something that was specific for Scott, I wouldn't be so disturbed by it. The problem is when people try to tear Scott apart for things that everyone else or at least many other people on the server have also done and have never received half as much backlash - if any- for. For example, if you were upset with Gem because she teases Jimmy, but you think it's fine or even hilarious when Grian, Martyn, Scott, Joel, fWhip, etc. do it, then it would come off as biphobia or misogyny because the other people, all men who aren't bi, aren't being treated with the same seriousness despite having done the same thing. If you were mad at Gem for teasing Jimmy, but you were equally upset with other people for teasing Jimmy, then that's a different situation where no one is being targeted. If you were mad at Gem for, I don't know, screaming at someone (This is a hypothetical. She did not seriously scream at anyone), then that would also be different because that would be unique to Gem. If you were to be misogynistic or biphobic in your criticism of her for something unique to her, then that would only be able to be observed in specific relevant points in your criticism as opposed to who you were critical of, seeing as there would be no one else to be critical of to compare your reaction to. However, the Scott situation is not at all unique to Scott; Scott is being scrutinized for things that many other people - all straight that I can think of, but please do correct me if I'm forgetting something - have also done and are not being nearly as disliked for. That's why it feels like the argument that Scott is awful tends to come from a place of homophobia.

As for deciding a line is for a character, if you respect that everyone else who did or said something similar for the same reasons and in the same context are equally guilty, then that's fine. If you are taking something that someone said and criticizing it, but you are not criticizing everyone else who did or said something similar in the same context, then saying that you were referring to the character isn't relevant to the discrimination between that CC/character and other CCs/characters who have done the same thing and are not being criticized.

The reason why I feel that homophobia is linked to a lot of Scott criticism that could be used against almost every other creator but often isn't is because a lot of people are specifically accusing Scott of being "manipulative" and "toxic", which are harmful queer stereotypes that Scott doesn't fit into the box of as far as we know. He may fit a lot of gay man stereotypes, but that doesn't mean that people should lump him in with harmful stereotypes that he doesn't actually fall under. We don't have a reason to believe that Scott has some evil ulterior motive to being friendly.

Analyzing a CC is... iffy. That's a real person. Most people are pretty uncomfortable being analyzed, especially if you are analyzing them for something they did while playing a character in a silly game with their friends (cough the Martyn situation cough). Of course, it's more than okay to recognize and appreciate the good things that someone does, but it's really none of the audience's business to scrutinize someone for something they said playfully to a friend who they have a long standing close relationship to and who hasn't shown signs of feeling hurt or disrespected. The main problem with the argument I was in was the inequality between how Joel was being treated and how Scott was being treated. I also think that it's important to be able to differentiate between when a CC is making a decision based on the rules of the game and the lore of their character and when a CC is just having a laugh with their friends. Not every CC cares so much about characters and lore. There's a big difference between when someone is playing an aggressive character and when someone is just being themselves in a competitive environment.

Being critical of CCs is okay. Accusing CCs of things they haven't done is not okay. You could ruin an innocent person's livelihood. I wouldn't defend Scott if I feel like he genuinely did something awful. It just kills me to see people accusing him of things or arguing that Scott is crueler than other Life Series players who have all done or said much of the same things that Scott is being scrutinized for and yet they are treated normally, as they all, including Scott, should be. If someone feels like Scott teasing his friends is a flaw, then they should also address when his friends tease each other in ways that are equally or even more (playfully) mean. I don't feel as if that is fair to the CCs, seeing as it is their relationships alone and their responsibility to handle when they are uncomfortable with something that their friend(s) said and they have proven that they will handle that discomfort with maturity and efficiency and therefore it's not our job to accuse them of being cruel to each other, but at least that way doesn't target just one person or just certain people.

It's not that I think that gay people can't be bad. I think that this one gay person didn't do what he's being accused of doing and that, if someone is going to accuse him, then they should at least acknowledge the equally guilty other parties, who were straight. It may have been complete coincidence, but it seems strange to me to accuse a gay person of being horrible while defending a straight person who is equally guilty, hence why it came off as homophobia to me. I would like to note that I have used the word "guilty" pretty often, but I do not feel like any actual guilt should be involved. The thing that everyone involved is "guilty" of is a lighthearted thing. I only mean that everyone did the same thing.

If Scott had seriously done something wrong, obviously I would not defend him. However, it does frustrate me when people accuse him of things that haven't happened or at least that we have no reason to believe has happened. For example, I wouldn't defend someone who burned down a house if someone accused them of burning down a house. I would defend someone who burned down a house if someone accused them of slashing someone's tires, which they did not do. If Scott did something terrible that was completely unrelated to the accusations that I've argued against, then I wouldn't really feel guilty. I would be very sad, of course, because I find him to be a great creator, and I would hold him accountable for whatever he did do, but that doesn't mean that he should be accused of things he didn't do, similar to how the Hermits did have to clear up some assumptions about what happened recently before more information was released. I don't think Scott's perfect. I do think he's being treated unfairly.

Thank you for being so thorough about your thoughts! That was very helpful in understanding how to appropriately answer you. Additionally, thank you for being understanding about the tardiness of this response. I was going through a life transition that wasn't going very smoothly, and this was a VERY long ask (which is not at all a burden! I invite long asks!) that I wanted to be very thoughtful in response to. I hope that I didn't miss anything and made some sense, and I hope that you're well!

[anoctoberpepper]

So a quick update: Over these next two months I’m going to be putting effort into original fiction so my AO3 posting will likely be slowing down. Disappearing off the face of the planet is pretty normal for me (I’m a chronic Discord ghoster 😭), but I will do my best to stay active here.

Please continue to hit me up with any of your favorite DnDads headcanons and ideas! I still definitely want to talk and write in this fandom! 

Sappy love under the cut. TL;DR I’m insane and you all have made me feel seen. 

So I’ve had a weird five years, the middle of which involved being hospitalized for the first (and god willing only) time, for mental health issues. I had a major depressive disorder that turned into a late in life diagnosis of “Schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type with mixed features” (I was actively delusional for 8 months, fun times). I have frilly diagnoses around that including generalized anxiety disorder, and an unspecified personality disorder. I say this because I don’t get to say it all that often. In my day-to-day life I have to keep that part of me tucked away so deep down that bringing it out to see the light of day hurts. Even though it’s a big part of how I relate to the world and it genuinely affects every day of my life. 

My closest friends barely understand my diagnosis. It’s hard to talk about. I either feel embarrassed or I’m worried that giving details will make people uncomfortable. Or maybe they’ll pity me, or worse they might not trust me anymore. Schizophrenia and Bipolar have hefty stigmas. So I don’t talk about it in any detail. 

But I need to talk about it. 

I was reading an original fiction piece I wrote before my diagnosis and realized that the main character, who was under the thrall of some violent magic at the time, was feeling exactly like how I would describe mixed mania now. It told me two things, 1) I was feeling horrible for a lot longer than I thought, and 2) I’ve been trying to describe it through my writing for just as long. 

I’ve written a lot over the last ten-ish years, and as all writers do I’ve tossed some of that writing into the void of agents' inboxes hoping for a bite. (I have received half a bite, one time). I write because I want to understand myself and because I love stories, but there’s something unique about having someone validate what you put on the page. Like “yeah. I get it, I feel that too.” 

I want to be able to yell my words to the world so someone will yell back. 

You all have yelled back. 

Genuinely and truly with all of my heart I could not have asked for a better gift this last year than having people feel seen by my writing.

I’m finally pulling my way back up from a really deep pile of crap and part of that journey was being able to write about Lark and Grant and Terry. Them learning to ask for what they need, and taking care of themselves and letting themselves be taken care of has taught me how to do it. 

I’ve found words to describe the mumbling voices I hear when I forget to take my meds, and the crawling-skin feeling of mania. I learned how to ask for things even if it’s as stupid as “can you walk to the kitchen with me so I don’t have to go through the process of making a bagel by myself.” Having characters take care of themselves has trained me to take care of myself. Utterly ridiculous, but absolutely profound. 

Another part of that journey I must mention is having people say, “yeah, that’s what it’s like for me too. I hear you. I see you. We’re in this together.” 

It is a gift I didn’t know I needed. People don’t usually talk about their mental health issues and when they do it’s generally not in a way I can relate to. I’m not really textbook anything, but I am some of everything. Being able to describe the pain of random mental health things and having other people say they’ve felt that way too has made me feel less alone. 

I don’t know how to end this rant, only that I would be remiss if I didn’t say I sincerely appreciated every comment and interaction I’ve had over the last year with you all. I feel comforted in a way I never thought I would. I feel joy in participating in this community, and a deep feeling of hope that things will keep getting better (and then worse and then better again). 

I love you all. Thank you for everything, and I hope to be back up posting as soon as I get some original fictioning done. 

(Or maybe I’ll get sick of trying to write my own stuff and I’ll be back here in a week. Who knows.) 

P.S. I’m still planning to work on Picking up the Pieces, it just might be slower than my usual pace

[hugemilkshake]

Request for Wild Basil Cookie being overprotective of Child Reader who just wants to be friends with everyone being gullible and all (And the fact this kid is a magnet of danger 👀)

I will gladly give content about my ocs bc I love em

Wild Basil with a gullible child reader

-platonic-

Wild Basil is… unique to say the least. He is very greedy and honest not that pleasant to be around, ask anyone, they’ll tell you that he is a rotten egg.

You’d have to meet Wild Basil before his Wild Basil ark, when he was Powdered Basil. When he was someone you’d want to be around.

You probably were introduced to Basil by Bubbling Oil and never knew he was exiled and not the best person

——————————————————���—————

Going out into the woods would be a bad idea though, since without Powdered Basil to lead anyone back to the kingdom, you were lost

And things weren’t looking good for you, the woods were horrible. Beast of all sizes followed you and dashed at you until you were on the verge of death

You braced yourself for the impact of an attack but it never came.

You slowly opened your eyes and you saw wolves around you, you had seen some from afar before but this time they were so close you could touch them.

The wolves fought off any creatures that were tormenting you before one of the wolves (who looked a little derpy) bit the back of your shirt and started to drag you (one of the other wolves had to help you onto its back because getting dragged was a little painful)

After a while of walking you were put on the ground in front of a tall, slender cookie in a hood.

When they noticed you their reaction was… less than ideal…

“What is this? Some weird animal you found?” The cookie kneeled down “it’s not the worst thing you’ve brought me but put it back-“

The cookie was cut off by a wolf running into them, knocking their hood off

Powdered Basil..?

The cookie looked at you confused “No? That’s uh not my name. It’s Wild Basil. And what even are you?”

You told ”Wild Basil” that he knew you and that he could help you get home but he seemed confused about who you were but decided that he should take you home so you won’t bug him

————————————————————————

If you had told me that Wild Basil would be somewhat chill with a child the. I’d believe it since I wrote it. But Wild Basil decided to guide you back home

The two of you formed and unlikely friendship

Now you weren’t aware of how possessive of the wolves and items he had, you didn’t notice how Wild Basil made sure you weren’t even harmed by a simple bug

You were kinda just gullible since if you believed that the leaves spelt out gullible when Wild Basil told you and that you believed all of his dodgy excuses.

But getting home would have been sadder if he didn’t dip when you got to the gates 

Listen, it’s not like he hated you, it’s just that something in him told him that being greedy over another cookie was wrong and weird

So he dipped the moment you saw the kingdom

[loquaciousquark]

hello again, question two incoming! i was thinking about my tav and astarion and boundaries each of them would set with each other—ness got dragged alone into the illithid oubliette, sent to chult, and then sucked into the djinni's lamp in lorroakan's tower and astarion is Very Done with his glass canon sorcerer gf being imperiled while he's helpless about it—and i remembered your fic "this lethal light falls softly", where astarion sets kind of a similar boundary when tavish comes back from being in avernus way longer than intended. my question is kind of twofold, firstly what is it with astarion and girlfriends who disappear on him, and then more seriously, what are some other boundaries tavish and astarion have to set with each other? is it easy for them to draw those lines, or is it always a kind of fraught conversation, like it was in the fic where astarion was threatening to leave tavish? do those boundary-drawing conversations change after the netherbrain is defeated and they're not constantly fighting for their lives? i imagine you can swallow some things easier when you're mostly just worried your partner could die at any minute, lol

LOVE THIS. Poor Ness. Poor Astarion! In a meta sense, I think it's just great to see someone who explicitly avoided caring about people for a couple of centuries be forced to confront that he actually cares about someone...a lot now, and all the wonder & horror that comes with that. There's a certain kind of impotence that comes with that level of waiting & being able to do exactly nothing to mitigate it, and I like seeing Astarion grapple with it & decide: yes, it's worth the pain to stick around anyway, that the love matters more. It sucks for him, for sure, but man is it a good time for me! :D

In terms of boundaries, I think both Astarion & Tavish are extremely terrible at both articulating, implementing, and occasionally respecting them. Tav had a healthy upbringing until she was about twelve, and then her entire teenage & young adult life was built around getting close enough to people to rob them, first under the direction of her horrible aunt, and then on her own after she killed her. Even the Thieves' Guild, where she wanted desperately to be, didn't find her appealing enough to accept, so she very quickly learned that absolutely no one cared if she lived or died, that family, friends, & lovers would take off the moment she couldn't give them what they wanted, and that the only way to guarantee someone would stick up for her would be if she brought some sort of unique utility to the table. I don't think she ever broke any major boundaries for anyone because she never got close enough for them to matter.

Likewise, Astarion's entire known history is messily tied to utility and what (who) he could provide for Cazador. However, his job, for lack of a better word, explicitly relied on him pushing boundaries at every opportunity. He must get the person who's hesitant to follow him into a dark alley to come with him anyway. He must get someone so drunk that they make incredibly stupid decisions & sleep with him despite their better judgement. He must find the person already having a terrible day and be that listening ear, manipulating them so much in the process that they lean on his opinion and recommendations over their own. The luxury of a healthy relationship is so far outside his realm of experience, I don't think he has the faintest idea what do with it when he finds himself in one, like a dog who's actually caught a car.

The turn for him, therefore, must be the realization that he cares for Tav's wellbeing above his own. He's at last found something to care about and protect besides himself, something he'd die to save, and that means that after two hundred years, his own needs and wants must come secondary to his desire to make Tav happy.

For Tav, it's the opposite. She's spent so long believing herself unlovable that I don't think she really understands how much Astarion cares until very late in the endgame. She isn't trying to make things hard for him; she just genuinely doesn't realize she's hurting him. That would require her to understand that she has intrinsic value as a person to him, even outside of what utility she can provide, & she's bad at understanding that.

In that vein, I don't think Tav is capable of articulating hard boundaries for herself for a long time. She has things she likes & dislikes, of course, but for someone so used to desperately reshaping herself to be small, to be easy, to be lovable in the hopes that someone would want to stick around eventually, her go-to response is not to ask someone to stop doing something, it's to literally retrain herself to find that thing not that bad in the first place. It's only because Astarion is extremely good at quick-reading people that he picks up on it after a while & realizes this is what she's doing.

I do think at some point post-game he has a very clear sit-down with her where he makes her clearly state some things he's doing that seriously bother her, not just so he can stop doing them but so she can get used to putting voice to her wants in the first place. However, because he's him, I do think he's snippy and catty about it the whole time. They aren't serious complaints; he just knows his cattiness makes Tav laugh & he wants her to trust him--to trust that he loves her, sure, but also to trust him to stay even when she's irritated at him. He needs her to understand she's not going to chase him off by asking him to change his behavior. (Also a novel thing for him: that he is willing to change his own behavior for someone else, just because they ask. Because her happiness matters more to him than him "winning" an argument by being sarcastic & cutting, and it turns out that hurting her to win makes the win sour and bitter anyway & he doesn't enjoy it.)

Astarion is just the opposite. I think for a while he can't help but react every time he butts up against something he doesn't like, both from the novelty of being able to say no & as part of his attempts to figure out exactly what denials are worth the effort. In this way I think Tav is very well-suited to him; she's very patient regarding this kind of thing thanks to her own flaws (especially since she understands what he's doing, even if he doesn't). She doesn't mind at all kind of contorting herself around his changeable boundaries while he figures out what he actually does & doesn't want, and since they don't have the end of the world hanging over their heads anymore, there's no time pressure aside from her own mortality. Besides, she can tell which ones he really cares a lot about (her leaving without warning, her endangering herself on his behalf without his knowing, the period where they're not sleeping together in Act 2/3) vs. the ones he doesn't really care about & are really just unconscious tests (her leaving her shoes all over the floor, the way she fiddles with things all the time when she's bored, the way too many sweets makes her blood less tasty, etc.). It's not a way I think she could live forever, but because he does change over time and he does get better and he does clearly learn from his mistakes, she's willing to be patient on her part while he figures things out.

Eventually, as they settle into a routine and become more comfortable navigating each other's needs as well as their own, he learns he doesn't have to say no to everything and she learns she can say no at all. It's a lot of work for both of them, but they both care deeply about the other's success and happiness, and they're both willing to put in the effort to make something that'll last.

Ahh, this was wonderful to get to ramble on about. Thank you so much for asking! <3<3<3